「 dancing away 10:38 PM 」

I've had so many times where I could totally count on yo. You gave me a card, saying you would be my listening ear, but when you gave me the card, the feeling was so lost. You stopped becoming my listening ear. I know I'm partly to blame, this communication break-down.

But that is all the past, now, you've changed, maybe you haven't but now, I notice so many things about you. I wish things would go back to normal but I know it won't. I can wish upon a star that everything that happened would never had.

Life is so full of complications, tests, I failed this one. A test of friendship, 210900hrs, one that failed.

「 dancing away 5:58 PM 」

Okok, I've done what I need to do. Just completed the Teachers' Day Video and it really was great. Feel so shiok completing it. Really like to thank my department, Projects, Sherrill, Carissa, Shirley, Sheenaz and Zoey for putting in all the effort. Thank you to the leads of the video, Lincoln, Madeline and Joshua. Thanks to my cameraman, Jun Yuan who did a fabulous job! And also thank you to all that came.

My To-do List

1. Study for EOY!!!
2. T-Zone games
3. Buy a present for her
4. Really shop for Jean's birthday present
5. Talk to Projects about issues
6. Write a thank you card and make something (?) to all that came today
7. Edit video

「 dancing away 11:20 PM 」

These past few days have been horrible. I'm like so tired. Council recently has been giving me a lot of pressure and I'm trying my best to cope with it. I come home tired and really need a bug push just to study. There's Chemistry and E Maths test tomorrow and I barely studied. So far, I've used a lot of my time for council and now just need a break. Sian.

「 dancing away 10:59 PM 」

Heyhey, today is Fairfield's birthday! Haha. We had it on the field! Oh man, it sounded dumb at first but looks like things turned out well. The Drama-Dance-CCA reps performance was simply too good for words! I am amazed. After all the rehearsals in such a short time, it turned out well. I really couldn't ask for more. Now, it's time to switch on my studying mode. I'm very tired now. Haha. Nites! :P

「 dancing away 9:15 PM 」

I honestly don't know what to do. I'm pissed and upset. I read the message so many times and the first thing was "Timothy told *****" So am I not supposed to belive that. You said that you didn't say anything or told any "@#$&ing soul" then how does he know.

Fine. I apologise for telling ****, but I just couldn't take it anymore. We're not as close and after OBS, I felt so distant from you. I couldn't share a single thing with you other than my happy moments. My problems were totally unknown to you. So far, **** might know of it. I didn't expect her to tell *****, so sorry. That was my fault. We're no longer the same. I don't know why. Even if we do patch back, it won't be the same. This is where it all ends.

It feels so entirely wrong. Everything that has happened is gonna become MEMORIES. It feels like a fabulous drama piece with no single mistake, until everything starts to go wrong. The lights first spoil, the sound screws up and there's nothing I can do. No improvisation can help, believe me, I've tried.

I'm not a guy who will tell you something is not right. All I can do is to let things go. I will never tell you "I don't like it" even if it hurts, until it just pierces right thru me. This is how I run my life. People can be unknowingly hurting me, but I just keep it to myself. I suffer inside and that's that. Since that incident in OBS, I've been keeping that hurt. Until the second one. I just couldn't take it. It's like piercing thru the same wound, re-opening it. I want you to be happy. Even if it means not telling you "it hurts". But I've still got to share it. No more could I take it.

This awkwardness will always linger when I see you. Now, I'm going to let go and concentrate, no more am I going to think about this. I'm moving on.

「 dancing away 12:12 AM 」

I have to make a lot of choices. Being in Sec 3 is not easy at all. i'm qiute glad that the Drama juniors managed to get into the finals. All the scolding, the pep talks all paid off! Yay. Haha. Hope that they win and perform at the NDP'08. Anyways, I'm reconsidering a lot of decisions I made in the past. I've been trough several competitions this year and man were thay difficult to prepare for. I tell people to breathe and all, now it's my turn to tell myself that.

I like stress. The little pressure that forces me to do things. But currently, I feel a lot of it. From friends, family and school. I question myself if I want to carry on in council. Like, it is pressurizing to do morning attire checks when I prefer to be in a bad one. I want to do so many things. Keep my fringe, pierce my ear. Sigh. Boundaries here and there. I've got a performance coming up and it's purely intensive rehearsals next week. Another set of boundaries. I need a holiday. The June holidays ain't fulfilling at all. Went to school first to weeks. Chiong my holiday homework (which is still not complete) and still have a social life. I'm just revolving around school, school and school.

The choices I make affect me. My parents think they're alright but do I think they are. Council, Drama, friends, schoolwork. Welcome to me.

「 dancing away 3:06 PM 」

Wow, I'm quite amazed at everything. I really really thank God for whatever is happening. I think I'm growing up a lot this year. I've handled many events and like so many things great have been going on. But now, I want a break...